Kegel Exercises Tips To Improve Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Kegel exercises – aka Kegels or Pelvic Floor Muscle Exercises – might be the brunt of many porn jokes, but they are actually as important as any other exercise.

Why?

Let’s start with not peeing or popping your pants.

Now that I have your attention, let’s begin…

 

THE MAN BEHIND THE SQUEEZE


 

Kegels were developed in the late 1940s by an American gynecologist – Dr. Arnold H. Kegel. The idea was to give men and woman a way to deal with incontinence without having to go under the knife.

He also invented the “Perineometer”, which was a device that helped measure the strength of the muscle contractions.

 

WHY IT’S NEEDED


 

 

This part of the body is like a hammock that goes from your front pelvic bone back to the tail bone. It holds your bladder, uterus, colon, prostate etc. The urethra and last part of your waste track pass through this hammock.

It’s the reason you can control whether you go to the bathroom on the toilet or all over the floor of Walmart.

 

REASONS THINGS CAN GET WEAK AND LEAKY


 

  • Being pregnant/having a child
  • Being overweight
  • Having surgery in that part of the body
  • Heavying lifting
  • Constant coughing (like from smoker’s cough etc.)
  • Nerve or brain disorders
  • Getting older
  • Just because

 

With the exception of childbirth, these conditions affect men as well.

Any of these situations might make it that your underwear ends up damp or dirty. There is even a condition that affects some women that when they cough, sneeze or laugh, a little bit of pee comes out.

SIDE NOTE – Good Kegels means easier childbirth.

FINDING THE SWEET SPOT


 

Imagine you’re trying to stop urination mid-flow – what you’re flexing is your PC muscles.

However, Keep your other muscles relaxed! Don’t flex your abs, butt, or legs. Also, don’t lift your pelvic area while doing it. Don’t hold your breath – keep breathing while your flex!

If you still have no idea if you’re going things correctly…

Stick a finger up there.

Seriously.

 

If you’re a woman, slide a finger up your vagina and squeeze like you’re trying to stop peeing. You should feel the muscles flex around your finger and “move up and down”. For men, stick a finger up the bum (yeah, get over it) and try to “stop peeing” (don’t flex your bum hole). You should feel the muscles contract up and down.

 

HOW TO DO KEGEL EXERCISES


 

1. Make sure your bladder is empty

2. Sit down or lie on your back (on your back might be easier if you’re new to Kegel’s)

3. Find your PC muscles and tighten them

4. Hold for X-seconds and then relax for X-seconds

5. Do X-repetitions

What’s X?

 

Every site will give you different numbers – it’s rather annoying. The one thing I will say is that if you’re not used to them, START LOW. No one goes to the gym with un-exercises arms and tries to do 100 bench presses the first go.

A nice medium between all the different site data is around 3-5 second flex with a 3-5 second rest (do this 10 times). Your total “flex count” is somewhere between 30 to 40 spread across the day. So, 10 in the morning, 10 in the afternoon, and 10 in the evening.

Your end goal is being able to hold it for 10 seconds with a rest of 10 seconds (still with 30-40 spread across the day).

FAST VS SLOW TWITCHES


 

Some resources suggest two different versions of Kegel flexes – either for different situations (quick to try and stop leakage and slow to build muscles) or just to diversify your exercises.

While the long versions are the method we talked about before (hold for 10 and relax for 10), the quick flexes are around 2-3 seconds with a 2-3 second rest.

 

OTHER IMPORTANT DETAILS


 

  • Quality is better than quantity!
  • Slow build up your rep lengths
  • You’ll see noticeable results in around 2 to 3 months but it may take longer to achieve the results you hope for.
  • If you’re having problems try Kegel balls or speak to your doctor (there are devices that give biofeedback that can help you).
  • Don’t do Kegel’s when you’re actually trying to pee – long-term, it can have a damaging effect on your PC muscles and possibly kidneys.
  • Doing Kegel’s incorrectly or with too much force can force vagina muscles to get TOO tight.
  • If your incontinence is serious, you might have to do these exercises for the rest of your life.

Mardi Gras Sex Tips

Fat Tuesday – the day before lent and the last opportunity to gouge, merry-make, and be gluttonous before the religious and ceremonial-laced fast.

And boobs.

Here’s what you should know in regards to Mardi Gras sex.

 

EXPECTATIONS VS REALITY


 

People expect a wild party with copious amounts of booze, boobs, and free sex (probably because of the booze and lowered inhibitions). The biggest (or not biggest) surprise is … excessive drinking will be your worse enemy during this festival.

First and foremost, too much hooch impairs your ability to consent to sex. It also screws your ability to make good choices (whatever they may be) when it comes to STD/STI protection (pun intended) and flashing your body parts in front of the cameras.

After that, many people underestimate the crowds. New Orleans is a small city of a few hundred thousand, but it explodes to over a million for a couple of days. This means large swaths of drunken people between you and where you want to go.

You’ll probably spend more time trying to find a bathroom and waiting for an Uber than hooking up. And forget the hotels, many are booked months in advance – and the Bourbon Street balconies booked upwards of 5 years in advance.

ARE YOU GONNA GET LAID?


 

There are plenty of percentages flying around the internet, but the general idea is a large chunk of guys expect to get laid in some way during this night of debauchery. Many women, on the other hand, don’t think they’re going to hook up with someone now. One side over-hopes and the other under-predicts.

Any surveys have been informal and the only serious studies are things related to HIV transmission during the event.

It’s not to say that there aren’t sexy opportunities, but you should probably keep your expectations low.

 

STRIPPERS VS HOOKERS


 

This one is interesting.

On any other day, working girls and guys experience their average highs and lows of weekdays vs. weekends etc. But around Mardi Gras, it’s a whole different story.

Apparently, most hookers stay home whereas strippers are working 15+ hour shifts that day. The thought is that people come for the party and the hope of free sex – not paying for an escort or hooker (which is usually higher business during offseason with businessmen or other travelers).

But even with the strippers, the bulk of traffic stays to the cheap clubs. People spending tons on vacation and drinks don’t have the green for expensive lap dances. Also, if you DO end up with a 4 am lap dance, don’t be butthurt if she/he doesn’t seem that into it. Chances are, she/he is exhausted.

 

THE MONEY GRAB


 

Let’s face it. Tourist flock to a destination and that destination is going to find ways to squeeze as much money out of you as possible – that’s tourism, that’s business.

But, Mardi Gras is a special beast.

The local police department (apparently famous for being racist and corrupt) along with a local religious group, use the day to crack down on adult clubs in the name of “freeing girls from trafficking”.

They cite old, ridiculous laws – from stage height measurements and rules that say performers aren’t allowed “to touch their breasts or buttocks” – and then slap the club with a HUGE fine. They ignore any woman that says they are there because they choose to be and pull them away trying to “save them”.

And, if the club can’t pay, they shut it down until they can (making the establishment lose out on thousands of dollars or more).

None of this on any other day, mind you. Just the day where there are the most money present and the police department can make the most.

After that, there are the sexy yet aggressive “drink girls” who try to shove shots down your throat to make you rack up a couple-hundred-dollar bill while flirting with you.

DANGERS, PROBLEMS & WAYS TO PREPARE


 

1. Getting caught on camera

There is a real chance your boob flash will end up on someone’s smartphone, which could end up on PornHub. If this is something that could affect you, best to keep the girls under wraps. You’ll still get plenty of beads.

 

2. Stranger sex

There’s nothing wrong with a random hook up. Just remember to carry plenty of protection choices (from condoms to dental dams). If you’re worried about drunken flings, ladies, take initiative and wear a female condom. Bring them ahead of time too, it will be harder (or impossible) to buy them during the event.

 

3. Drinking dangers

There’s the obvious – alcohol poisoning, rape drugs, being robbed etc. The easiest solution is twofold. One, stick to one or two drinks and just enjoy the party. Two, have a buddy system and take a friend with you. Also, if a “drink girl” tries to push a shot on you, you can politely say no. It’s okay.

 

4. You’re in the wrong place!

The carnival and parades spread across the whole city – and 99% of the events are geared towards families – yes, it’s first and foremost considered a family event.  This means that 99% of the time, the debauched, drunk, nakedness you imagine will land you in jail. So, keep any flashing to the Quarter.

 

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Any other tips about Mardi Gras sex? Share in the comments!