We are happy to share our expertise on BDSM activities for those of you who are 100 percent new to the game. We wanted to remind all of you though that communication — before and after — is essential if you’re going to try any of these BDSM things. Other than that? Enjoy!
1. Hair Pulling
We suggest hair pulling as a good way to start getting into kinky play. It’s easy, doesn’t require any toys, and can be as gentle or as rough as you want it to be.
2. Light Spanking
Spanking is definitely a common fantasy and starting lightly is a good idea, with the option of ramping it up as you go, of course. Start with hands and then incorporate toys as you and your partner(s) become more experienced.
“I found it really exciting as a beginner to be told I had to count the number of blows I was going to receive because it was not only a pain thing, but a power thing,” Once of our team said
3. Aggressive Language
We suggest incorporating aggressive language into your play. Words like “slut,” “whore,” “jerk,” “wimp,” and “f*ck” are all good places to start. Name calling, however, should definitely be pre-negotiated, as one slut’s turn on may be another jerk’s major turn off.
4. Tying Up With A Scarf
A lot of people fantasize about bondage and scarves a good place to start because they’re soft and it’s hard to do real damage with them — unlike, you know, rope and handcuffs. Our main tip is to make sure that two fingers can be slipped between the tie and the skin in order to avoid cutting off circulation, which definitely can do damage.
5. Under The Bed Restraints
Once you’re ready to move on from scarves, we recommend trying out under the bed restraints or “just canvas strap restraints.” Even if you don’t do anything else besides fool around, if you’ve never done it before giving up control over your body is an exciting intro to BDSM for beginners.
6. Incorporating “Sir” Or “Madam”
In addition to aggressive language, we advise that a “sir” or “madam” can do wonder to set the stage. It’s a simple way to establish roles in a dom/sub scene and keep you both involved in the fantasy.
Biting is a great entry-level way to play, but we should warn you that talking about it beforehand is again essential — and part of that talk should be about marks. Some people are into them and some people really aren’t, so make sure you know where your partner stands before you start chomping down.
8. Subbing/Topping Role Playing
We suggest that “something as simple as having your arms tied behind your back while performing oral sex” can be a really hot entry level activity for people who are just getting started. Other suggestions might include begging (for sex or punishment) as well as being put in or putting someone in a submissive physical position.
9. Play With “Pervertables”
We are really into what we call “pervertables,” which are basically every day objects that can be transformed into toys. We recommend things like wooden spoons, brushes, spatulas and narrow things like canes, thin belts, and rulers with the metal guide on them if you want to make a mark. The best thing about these toys is that no one but other kinksters will recognize them for what they are. They’re like a kinky secret signal!
10. Sensation Play With A Blindfold.
We recommend blindfolded sensation play. What does that mean, you ask? Basically, you lightly restrain someone (or are restrained yourself, depending on your preference), blindfold them, and then introduce various sensations with various objects. So maybe you run a feather over them or you pinch them or you give them a spank or tease them to edge of orgasm. The idea is allow the non-blindfolded person to have control of everything that’s happening and for the blindfolded person to surrender control to them.
A flogger is more like a BDSM 1.1 step rather than a BDSM 1.0 step. We recommend to newbies, though, because the pain it provides isn’t very intense but it looks scary, which can heighten your enjoyment of it. Our second tip when it comes to this kind of pain play? Leave the cane for once you’ve experienced a little more, because that sh*t hurts.
We also think that clothespins — which can be adjusted and removed quickly, if need be — are a good way to start exploring pain thresholds. We recommend trying them out on nipples, stomach, and inner thigh at first as you start to understand your or your partner’s limits. Once you’ve mastered these,
13. Candle wax
Candle wax is another way to play, it seems scary but isn’t, isn’t that painful, and is an exciting way to intro/explore pain. Our only warning is that you do some research beforehand about different types of candles, as certain kinds burn hotter than others and those are the ones you don’t want.